On Contemplating Suicide **trigger warning**

Get all affairs in order Pay all the bills Close all the accounts Pack up the house Label everything Give away the food that will spoil Amass all the pills Load the gun Tie the noose Close all the blinds Turn off all the lights Turn off the pho—no, it’s ringing Answer the phone, talk […]

Darkness

When you cry out into the darkness, who hears you Are your tears sucked into the void or Are they counted and treasured by some omnipotent force Perhaps they are the water of a distant exotic planet Perhaps they give praise for your tears when they fall Even in your suffering, there is life

Wondering…

I wonder what you say when people ask about me, because I know they ask. I wonder if you tell them the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help you God. Probably not. I wonder if you miss me, if you do things and think of me. I wonder if new things make […]

Eventually

One day, when I’m dead and gone, when my body has crumbled and become unrecognizable, someone will find these words and they will echo across time and space these words will mean something to someone else and I will not be alone

1/23/18, 8:43 pm

I couldn’t sleep last night because I was worried about you I tossed and turned and called your phone so many times Voicemail. I called myself all types of stupid to care about whether you died or not I finally slept, but I had nightmares Imagining twisted metal and flame kissed bodies and a coroner’s […]

Celebration

I got my grades back for this quarter that just ended and I’m quite happy with them and proud of myself. I smiled at the proof that I was doing something right. I’m finally taking the steps to become the woman that 12 year old me wanted to be. I’m happy with where I am. […]

Genealogy

We sit around laughing and joking Reminiscing Telling stories older than me but stories told so much that I know them just like I was there Stories full of love and family But, stories full of violence too And lies And infidelity I listen and remember But I wonder… Why did the women in my […]

Funny

It’s funny how I ever thought you’d be enough for me Funny how I thought you could hold all that is me You couldnt hold me all if you tried I am water. I am sand. I am a whisper. I am the result of particle physics and quantum mechanics falling in love My layers […]

Collector’s Edition

When you were little, you were a doll on a shelf Always admired, rarely played with Taken down and put right back in your place How lonely How awful But, how could they not? Look at how beautiful you are! Look at how gorgeous your skin is How kissable your lips How fragile yet resilient […]