How To Break Your Own Heart

In a needy heart, add a few hopes and dreams, chop finely

Add a year’s worth of high expectations

Crack some deep conversations, scramble well

Sprinkle in:

    A dash of missed calls;

    A pinch of “She’s just a friend”;

    About 400 hours worth of arguments that never solve anything

Mix, then create a well in the center and pour:

    Countless sleepless nights

    About a gallon of tears

    All your intuition

    Every negative conversation about your relationship, ever.

Fold over gently, pour into a mold of a good relationship, put in the oven and bake at 500° for however long it takes for your whole house to catch fire and burn to the ground.

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